The Ache to be Seen

I once had a guy tell me that I could see right through him and it scared him. I said that even if that were true, I wasn’t judging him for what I saw. 

He ghosted me anyway. 

We all want to be seen, heard and accepted. So why are we so terrified to let people in? 

When I was still involved in the dating world, I used to complain that everyone I met was emotionally unavailable. But honestly, I probably was too. 

As much as I would like to think of myself as a warm and welcoming tree, I’m most likely a cactus. A cute cactus that looks approachable, maybe even has some nice flowers. But you still can’t get too close, unless you want to get pricked. 

Are you a cactus too? 

I’ve seen this man several times on my daily walks. It’s getting to the point where we recognize the other. So then what is a human to do? … Accessing my social code settings. 

One of his dogs came over to sniff me and I reached down to pet his ears. The man pulled the dog away. Weird. When did contact with others stop being ok?

More and more people are getting AI boyfriends or girlfriends. I even saw a woman in Japan who married her ChatGPT. She had a ceremony and everything. 

I totally understand wanting to feel loved and how easy it is to want to give up on human interaction. But I feel like it’s only a matter of time before technology will be tired of our shit too. 

So what do we do about this dilemma? What does it say about our relationship to God? Sartre said, “hell is other people,” and he’s not wrong. 

Yet I still think it’s only part of the equation. People can be heaven too and we need each other to thrive and grow. Especially in times like these. 

What if our aversion to closeness is related to the idea of God we were sold? Or maybe even a political ideology we were sold. Careful, this is when we get in trouble for starting to think too deeply. 

Do it anyway.  

What if there was once a conversation… and someone decided to start telling everyone they were sinful, terrible, one mistake away from eternal damnation. 

That really does something to a person. It would probably even weaken them down over time. It might even make them comply. 

So here we are in the middle of an apocalypse, a time when more than ever, we need God. And all we want to do is argue with each other, or worse cut each other off entirely. That’s not the place we long to be. I feel this deep within my heart. I know you do too. 

There’s a lot of talk about humans being made in the image of God. But what if we’re making each other into that same fearful image and acting accordingly? 

What if what we’re really longing for is divine love? A peace that passeth all understanding, like a cosmic motherly hug reminding you that you’re safe and everything is going to be ok. 

I had a good friend tell me about the passing of her mom and how it felt like an umbilical cord had been severed. She felt lost, insecure, there was an ache she couldn’t explain.

That ache? Is what humanity is experiencing in real time. With unspeakable events at accelerated speeds we can’t even wrap our heads around. 

The fear that we feel? What if it’s the devastation of feeling separate from God? 

The hatred that we’re seeing? What if it’s the result of believing that separation is real? 

But the hug is there. Even if it's muffled. Even if it’s far. 

The Divine Mother has got us and we’ve got to trust that. 

Even when it feels really really hard.

Even if it means letting people in. 

Maybe even loving our neighbor like ourselves.  

Because they’re probably pretty scared too.

I’ll probably still try to pet that dog again. 

But that’s just me, prickles and all. 

Lots of love,

Meagan Maris